Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Wednesday, 07 November 2012. Posted in Ten Step

November 07, 2012

    1. I arrived at work early today, in a really good mood, excited to be alive. So, I thought….I deserve a medium gourmet coffee, so I went to purchase it. I arrived at my neighborhood Gelson’s, smiling and perky…….”May I have a medium Peppermint Latte!”

    “What?” the clerk replied, “I cannot hear you.” I was shocked, frustrated and felt insulted. Immediately, I thought “why isn’t she smiling and happy like me?” and “why can’t she hear me?”

    My part is that I am an overly sensitive person that expects everyone to be happy and perky just like me. If they are not, I want to react uncivilly because I feel frustrated that they can’t just be like me.

    I was intolerant of the possibility that she may have been having a bad morning, not to mention the fact that her emotions are none of my business.

    Lastly, I took her actions personally. Her behavior has nothing to do with me. I cannot control persons, places or things. Acceptance is the key.

    God, divorce me from expectation, the desire to control, intolerance, impatience and extreme sensitivity. Aid me in not taking anything personally. Help me to live in acceptance.

    2. I interact with people a lot. As a result, I have learned to look people directly in their eyes. It feels natural to me.

    Therefore, it is always hard for me to understand why others cannot do the same when they speak to me. Immediately, when I recognize that a person does not look me in the eye, I feel distrustful of them, even annoyed, and frustrated by them.

    My part is that I have expectations that people behave in a socially acceptable manner, i.e. look me directly in the eye.

    Instead of expecting them to behave a certain manner, I am learning to focus on my side of the street.

    For me, that means that I work on being tolerant of others shortcomings and not judgemental. Perhaps this person is extremely shy, or even suffers from social anxiety.

    God divorce me from having expectations of others. God, aid me in being more tolerant and patient of other people. Divorce me from taking the behavior of others personally.

Please weigh in on this 10th step. Let us know what you think.

Also, inform us of any particular 10th step subject-matter that you would like to see appear in this column.

Remember, life is difficult enough without dealing with active addiction!


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About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and Recoverynowtv.com, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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