Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Friday, 11 January 2013. Posted in Ten Step

January 11, 2013

A reader and fellow member of Alcoholics Anonymous (“AA”) wrote in to share one of his recent tenth step interactions.

My name is Ryan and I have been a recovering Alcoholic for nearly 10 years; my sobriety date is February 01, 2003. I try to practice the principles of the twelve steps in all my affairs.

I had an argument with my wife, of two years now, over her new friendships, particularly those with men and unmarried women, not to mention the fact that she has taken up new interests and seems to be building a bigger life that I am not always involved in.

I should add that although she has not had a drink of alcohol or used a drug in more than eleven years, she recently decided to join AA after attending so many meetings with me. She really enjoys the fellowship, the meetings, and is finally started to make healthy friendships.

That is just it, I liked her just the way that she was. I was her only real friend, and our relationship thrived because we both needed one another, as neither one of us was really good at making friendships or interacting with others.

All of a sudden, she has a job, hobbies (she is taking acting classes) and new found interests that don’t always involve me. She is beautiful and can be gullible at times so I don’t think she is aware that many of her guy friends are interested in her beyond just friendship. But, she is a smart girl; that’s why I married her, and I know she is faithful.

My part is that I am somewhat insecure and selfish. I loved that she depended on me for everything, that she did not work and focused on our relationship. I am worried that she will not grow beyond me now that she is developing interests, friendships and making goals.

God, forgive me for wanting her all to myself. Help me to love her just the way she is and to be happy and excited that she is finding a place in this world and has chosen me to accompany her.

Let’s continue to take 100% percent accountability for our emotions.


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About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and Recoverynowtv.com, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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