January 10, 2013
Recently, I was speaking with an acquaintance and fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous.
He shared with me about a recent trip to San Francisco to visit his family. I stood there listening patiently and tolerantly as he went on and on about how awful his sister is.
Apparently, he is a homosexual while his older sister is heterosexual and quite conservative. As the two of them were discussing current events the subject of same gender marriage and the federal marriage act came up.
His older sister is overt about her love and affection for him, not to mention accepting of his “lifestyle choice” as she refers to it.
Yet, she is adamant that same gender marriage should not be legal. In fact, when the proposition to approve same gender marriage was placed on the California ballot, she even voted against it.
Instead of agreeing to disagree, he let it impact his entire trip to visit his family. He explained how miserable he was during the visit, not to mention how upset he still is about it since he returned home.
With that said, I attempted to persuade him to look at his part.
He is in his mid-forties and has had all that time to become ok with whom he wants to love despite what other people think, even his sister.
Perhaps his part was that he let her point of view make him feel marginalized and less than. She does not have the power to do it.
If he is comfortable with whom he loves it should not matter what other people think. Legality and constitutional rights are subjects that he can take up elsewhere, where it matters…town-hall meetings, city council, lobbying, demonstrations, petition the court, and getting involved politically.
The fact of the matter is that informal discussions with his sister are just not the proper venues.
Besides, she is not a legislator. It is pointless to discuss the topic with her if she feels one way and he feels another. In fact, I would go as far as saying that subject should be off limits for the two of them in an effort to maintain peace.
At that moment I asked him to say a simple prayer with me. God, divorce us from giving other people control over our emotions, and for that matter, attempting to dictate other people.
Help us to know the difference between appropriately asserting our rights and allowing our emotions to deter us from the matter at hand.
Aid us in being tolerant, diplomatic and accepting of others, bar none.
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