Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Friday, 21 December 2012. Posted in Ten Step

December 21, 2012

Recently I received an email from a significant person in my life. As I read through the short, but incendiary e-mail, I became incensed and angry.

For a while, I was actually having a conversation in my head regarding what I was reading. Can any alcoholic relate to this?!

Imagining the tone of the other person……everything that I would say if he was in front of me began to come to mind.

Alcoholically, I began to write exactly what I was thinking, quickly too!! I mean, I did not want one word to escape me! He needed to know how I felt!

Besides, “who is he” to write something like that and not expect for me to reply in kind.

What I did next, saved me from any post-mortems, i.e., regret!

Rather than pushing send, as I really wanted to do, I saved it to my drafts.

In fact, I received his e-mail in the early a.m. Yet, I did not return to it until the late p.m.

Needless to say, later in the p.m, I realized that my lengthy, detailed, “fire up the cannons” response was not necessary. Oh yes, I still wanted to send it, but I knew that my response was punitive, meant only to hurt the other person.

Instead, what I wrote was “Thank you for your thoughts.”

You see, I no longer have to play the victim, always in attack mode. I am not a guard dog, always on the defense!

I no longer have to respond to or engage in small-mindedness. I have no room in my life for negative banter.

My part was that I was allowing someone else to dictate my emotions not to mention my behavior. The person dangled the fish from the line, and initially, I jumped for it.

Thank God for what I am learning in Alcoholics Anonymous, as I was able to pause rather than push send button.

I am impulsive by nature. Yet, I took contrary action. It made all the difference.

God, divorce me from being impulsive and engaging in what does not serve me. Help me to be present enough to pause, always, and to respond consistent with whom I am, a thoughtful child of God.

I am learning to take the highroad!

Please weigh in on this tenth step and let us know what you think.

We at RECOVERYNOW TV and NEWS do encourage constructive dialogue.

As well, please inform us of any particular topic you would like to see discussed.

Remember, life is difficult enough without adding active addiction, so live it clean and sober.

If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction and alcoholism, contact usplease call us. We want to help you.

About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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