Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Tuesday, 18 December 2012. Posted in Ten Step

December 18, 2012

Recently, a friend and fellow from the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (“AA”) gave a call to me. Let’s call him Morgan.

I have known Morgan for about two years and although he is few years younger, we have a lot in common, particularly with respect to alcoholism and addiction.

Beyond identifying as a recovering addict/alcoholic, with about the same amount of sobriety time that I have, Morgan is a university student who lives with his parents.

To make a long story short, Morgan called me to complain about the way that his parents were treating him; they treat him like a child, despite the fact that he is twenty-four years old.

Morgan does not understand why he should have a curfew, nor does he understand why he has to explain where he is going when he leaves home.

The structure and rules that his parents enforce make him feel frustrated, angry, and captive.

I explained to him that he played a part in how he is feeling, particularly with respect to his former improvidence. Although I did not admonish him, I gently explained to him that he lost a lot of his parents trust when he developed his drug and alcohol habit.

First of all, had he not developed a drug and alcohol habit, more than likely he would have the means, particularly a job that would pay him enough to live on his own and come and go as he pleases.

The fact of the matter is that he is dependent on his parents for shelter, not to mention school fees, even transportation. Actually, his parents drive him to and from school, work, AA meetings and even social outings.

Until he can make better decisions, particularly while he is under their roof, I think the rules provide him with a good amount of structure.

Despite the fact that Morgan has been sober for nearly four years, he has been slow to take action that would provide him with the independent he desires.

Besides, all the rules and structure are appropriate motivation for him to focus himself enough to obtain what is necessary for him to move out on his own.

It’s all a matter of a perception shift.

God divorce us from distorted thinking. Relieve us from anger and frustration in any given situation so that we may see clearly. Shift our perception enough to recognize that we have everything that we need at any particular moment.

Please weigh in on this tenth step and let us know what you think.

We at RECOVERYNOW TV and NEWS do encourage constructive dialogue.

As well, please inform us of any particular topic you would like to see discussed.

Remember, life is difficult enough without adding active addiction, so live it clean and sober.


If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction and alcoholism, please call us. We want to help you.

About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and Recoverynowtv.com, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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