December 17, 2012
Tis the season. Consequently, I have gone to quite a few holiday parties since Thanksgiving. Yesterday, I went another.
In fact, the party was a very, very posh Christmas cocktail party given by a dear friend/mentor/and fellow. Notable professionals, not mention celebrities walked around the ethereal atmosphere of the beautiful home nestled high atop Beverly Hills.
Despite the fact that an open bar was available, no distasteful incidents occurred. I forgot that was possible!
With that said, although I enjoyed myself very much (there were even hired singing carolers) I just did not relate very much to most of the people, even though I knew at least half of the partiers quite well….in and out of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In fact, not only did I not relate, for me, the mood reminded me of my youth and adolescence, particularly when I stood around observing immaturity and superficial immature peers.
Yesterday, more than once I had to step away from what seemed like the most vapid and superficial conversations.
In fact, one person I was talking with appeared to have very overt muscle spasms at the sight of Ryan Seacrest.
I have a tendency to be inwardly intolerant of people that are that superficial. It was difficult discussing inconsequential subjects, like Debbie Mattenopolous, Ryan Seacrest, the Kardashians, and so forth. Call it “old soul-ism” or “alcoholism”, but I have always been serious, realistic, and perhaps too mature….about twenty years more mature than those my age, despite the fact that I look 10 years younger than my age.
Moreover, many of the people were in entertainment, and to say the least, the conversations were not filled with depth or substance. To be honest, there was a lot of hyperbole and superficiality.
My part is that I tend to be too serious. I lack the fun gene, and the ability to just be at ease. There is always a sense of urgency and immediacy with me.
As a sober adult, similar to the precocious child that I was, I am uneasy without practicality, or with just doing nothing and having fun for the heck of it.
God, divorce me from being to prudish and provincial. Likewise, divorce me from impatience, intolerance and the inability to have fun. Help me to be more present, relax sometimes and have healthy fun.
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