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Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Friday, 02 November 2012. Posted in Ten Step

November 2, 2012

1. I did a favor for a friend recently. He really needed something done that would otherwise cause a huge inconvenience to him. I was in a position to remedy his situation by doing what he needed. Needless to say, he was still in a bad mood despite the fact that this huge problem was behind him. I was so frustrated, annoyed and even felt used or taken for granted. Did he appreciate me? Did he behave the way I expected? Did I resent him?

    a. My part in all this was that I was not only self-seeking for his appreciation and acknowledgment no less, I had expectations of his gratitude for my favor to him, not to mention his appreciation for the effort I made on his behalf. When he did not behave the way that I expected, I became resentful. I expected him to be overjoyed and happy, not in a bad mood.

    b. God please divorce me from resentment, expectation, self-seeking and ego.

2. My mother is not particularly affectionate and she is withdrawn, and often her love is conditional. All my life I have resented her for being this way. Recently, she texted me to inquiry as to how I was doing, as I had been on her mind she wrote. Initially, I was going to ignore her text and not respond.

    a. My part was that I had an expectation of her. I thought that if she really cared she would have picked up the phone and called me, not texted me. She was not fulfilling my expectation of what a mother would do if she were concerned about her child. My fear is that she does not really love me if she does not do things the way I expect them to be done. What I realized in that moment is that she is doing the best she can, the best she knows how to be a mother. In fact, her mother was not maternal with her.

    b. God help me to be more compassionate and empathetic. Divorce me from expectation, fear and resentment.

Please weigh in on this 10th step. Let us know what you think.

Also, inform us of any particular 10th step subject-matter that you would like to see appear in this column.

Remember, life is difficult enough without dealing with active addiction!

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About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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