December 12, 2012
On my way to a meeting Alcoholics Anonymous (“AA”) yesterday I stopped at the neighborhood Starbucks to get an iced tea; it’s my routine. Before any meeting I attend, I always stop for a beverage, and generally it’s an iced tea.
Within a half hour of the start of any particular meeting I am sure to bump into another fellow purchasing a beverage, fellowshipping or doing twelve step work there.
Yesterday was no different, as I bumped into fellows who were stopping to purchase beverages on the way to the same AA meeting I was about to attend.
To make a long story short, after placing my order and paying, I walked to the adjacent end of the counter to wait for my drink, a sweetened passion fruit iced tea.
Sure enough, without making eye contact, I recognized a fellow who I am not particularly fond of. He is overly flirtatious with me, i.e., he touches me way too much……overextended hugs and he is so provocative.
Well, despite the lack of eye contact, he saw me and came over. What he did next frustrated me like none other. He grabbed my drink off the counter and drank from it as I turned around to grab a straw.
As I stood there mortified, he looked me in the eye, smiling, as he sipped from my drink, clearly flirting.
I was not amused.
Perhaps my part was that I never set appropriate boundaries. Back when he hugged me the very first time, I felt uneasy with him, objectified, and uncomfortable with him touching me; I should have been honest about how I felt.
In fact, I should have told him I would prefer not to hug him, that a handshake would be more appropriate. If I had, maybe we would not have reached a point in which he gives me lingering hugs, as I cringe inside, or drinks from my iced tea!
I am the only person who can protect me. I have to set boundaries.
God, divorce me from reticence or apprehension about setting boundaries and standing up for myself. Help me to disregard the fear of hurting someone else’s feelings at the expense of my own.
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