December 07, 2012
Have you ever experienced a situation in which you were questioned by someone, perhaps a friend or fellow addict/or alcoholic? The questions sort of felt uncomfortable, but you answered anyway, in an attempt to avoid potential conflict, suspicion, or because you just did not quite understand what was happening…..
Nevertheless, you later felt violated or offended regarding the “line of questioning” the more you thought about what occurred…..“you put two and two together.”
Despite your natural instinct you accommodated the person and attempted to allay his or her suspicions, only to later realize that you were bamboozled, controlled, manipulated, cajoled, or made to feel distrusted.
Well, your part was that you gave this person the benefit of the doubt, you handed over your power and allowed the person to manipulate you, undermine your confidence, and/or intimidate you.
It may be difficult, but it is useful to learn to feel, sit with and process uncomfortable feelings.
When we take this approach, we don’t later feel like the victim, nor do we consume drugs or alcohol to avoid the pain.
With that said, should you face a situation similar to the one referenced above occurs or perhaps the behavior of another makes you feel in a manner you otherwise prefer not to feel, you don’t do not have to participate. When you do not participate, the reward is that you feel empowered and not like a victim.
In the moment, despite how we feel, with regard to reluctance, fear, apprehension, or self-doubt, we should take the action that is most consistent with our values and principles irrespective of what the other person might think or how that person might feel. Although, always consider the totality of the circumstances.
Remember, we serve no one by allowing others to disregard how we prefer to be treated.
In other words, our privacy, safety, or even preferences should not be obscured by or be at the expense of another person’s insecurities or unwarranted inquiries.
Please weigh in on this tenth step and let us know what you think.
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As well, please inform us of any particular topic you would like to see discussed.
Remember, life is difficult enough without adding active addiction, so live it clean and sober.
If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction and alcoholism, please call us. We want to help you.