December 06, 2012
I have two brothers, both of which I have not seen in a while. Today is my oldest brother’s birthday.
Although we have not talked in a while I do love him very much, particularly when I think of us as little boys.
Since we were teenagers we have not gotten along very well.
The most recent time that we talked on the phone was more than a year ago. The call ended with him yelling at me. Actually, he abruptly hung up the phone on me.
To make a long story short, I debated with myself regarding how to approach acknowledging his birthday.
If it were up to the Alcoholic that I once was, I would not acknowledge it at all, as I would prefer to hold onto resentments.
Today, having gone through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am more forgiving as I consider my side of the street only.
Consequently, when I considered all the reasons why I should ignore my brother’s birthday because of all the awful things he has done to me, I redirected my thoughts to how I prefer to behave….diplomatically and graciously.
That is why I decided to send him a gift, as well text him this morning. I sent a simple text….”God morning. Happy Birthday. God Bless You.”
As I examine the history among my brother and I, I look at my side of the street.
As a result, I realize now that I played a part in all my resentments. Most, often it was the simple fact that I TOOK HIS BEHAVIOR PERSONAL.
As a sensitive recovering alcoholic who actively works the twelve steps of Anonymous, particularly step 10, I recognize that I have generally taken everything personal.
Apparently, taking things personal is the root of a lot of, if not all my pain.
God, divorce me from unnecessarily taking anything personal going forward.
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