Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Monday, 03 December 2012. Posted in Ten Step

December 3, 2012

Yesterday I faced a situation in which a person that I met in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous made an attempt to apologize to me for the way that he treated me not too long go.

We were platonic friends, or so I thought, until the situation occurred.

To make a long story short the way that he treated me hurt me quite a bit and left me not only frustrated, but confused.

Nevertheless, I learned a lot about my typical behavioral patterns with people.

That one single situation illuminated so much and provided so much clarity. It was a living, real life fourth step.

Typically, I am very open and receptive to people. I have even been described as naïve and far too welcoming, too quickly……that doe-eyed deer that gets caught hit by the vehicle because he leaps before looking.

If I did not understand what they meant before, subsequent to what occurred with this guy in Alcoholics Anonymous I learned my lesson.

I learned to be more discerning and to set appropriate boundaries.

The fact of the matter is that although I forgive him, and would like to imagine that I could become friends with him again, I am not Mother Theresa.

We cannot be friends. Although we are both addicts, we are two different people. Our characters do not align.

I have to embrace how I feel, and I feel uneasy about becoming friends with him again. I am trying to move past it but it takes time I suppose.

I will have compassion for myself and give myself the necessary time to feel what I feel and eventually let it pass.

With that said, I still consider him my fellow. We are both members of Alcoholics Anonymous and both welcome. Both of us have the fatal disease of alcoholism. We have that in common and I suppose that is all that matters.

God, divorce me from resentment. Help me to get over the frustration as swiftly as possible.

As well, help me to see the situation with clarity and eyes wide open.

Please weigh in on this tenth step and let us know what you think.

We at RECOVERYNOW TV and NEWS do encourage constructive dialogue.

As well, please inform us of any particular topic you would like to see discussed.

Remember, life is difficult enough without adding active addiction, so live it clean and sober.

If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction and alcoholism, please call us. We want to help you.

About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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