Maintain Sobriety With A Daily Tenth Step

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Thursday, 15 November 2012. Posted in Ten Step

November 15, 2012

    1. I have a friend who I absolutely adore, for the most part. Beside the fact that she is a dedicated member of Narcotics Anonymous, she is kind, intelligent and wise beyond her years.

    And, despite being an Addict/Alcoholic she has a wonderful personality.

    More often than not I look forward to seeing her and I love to spend time with her, as we have a lot in common, particularly with regard to addiction. Both of us consider ourselves grateful recovering alcoholics/addicts.

    With that said, issues come up when she becomes controlling, or when she exercises her will over me.

    I am a person who does not like to be controlled, while she is a person that likes to control everything. To keep the peace I often just acquiesce at my expense.

    Also, many times she will invite me to do things and then bail prematurely.

    It makes me feel frustrated, even sad, when I make time for her and then she leaves early. It feels like she does not appreciate my time, nor appreciate my effort to maintain our friendship.

    My part is that I am too fearful. Rather than be courageous enough to diplomatically stand up for myself, I acquiesce.

    Consequently, I feel controlled and I harbor silent resentments.

    Furthermore, because I fear appearing like the jerk, or otherwise fear losing the friendship, and because I people-please so much, I hold in how I really feel rather than be honest, further causing resentment to fester and build.

    God, divorce me from fear. Aid me with the power to stand up for myself and set appropriate boundaries.

Please weigh in on this 10th step. Let us know what you think.

Also, inform us of any particular 10th step subject-matter that you would like to see appear in this column.

Remember, life is difficult enough without dealing with active addiction!

If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction or alcoholism, please call or text. We can help you!

About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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