November 26, 2012
Recently I was sitting at Starbucks enjoying my favorite drink and catching up on some work that needed to be done, when I recognized someone (an Alcoholic) that I once new quite well. Due to schedule conflicts, differences in opinions, not to mention priorities, we drifted apart, and became acquaintances more or less.
To make a long story short, as I sat at a table working, I looked up for moment and I saw this person. Our eyes met, so it was too late to pretend that I did not see him. Consequently, I smiled and spoke, hoping that would be the end of the interaction…….it was not.
Not only did he sit at the table next to me subsequent ordering his drink, he talked and talked at me for like 15 minutes despite the fact that I clearly was working. Each time I attempted to type something he would say something more to distract me until the person he was waiting for arrived.
I felt so annoyed and frustrated as I just wanted to finish my work and enjoy my drink. I felt like I wasted 15 minutes, not to mention the additional 5 to 10 minutes necessary to recover from the frustration of having to talk to someone I did not want to talk to.
My part is that I am selfish and self-absorbed (perhaps traits of my alcoholism), so much so that I am not willing to be friendly enough to converse with someone that I know. I was so preoccupied with the worry and angst that I needed to get something done that did not need to be complete at that very moment.
When I am focused on doing something I become so self-absorbed that I prefer to be oblivious to anything around me that does not have to do with what I want. Although I have always had that characteristic, it grew stronger during my years of active addiction to prescription pills and alcohol.
To be matter of fact, it probably would not have mattered who the person was, as I would have wanted to do what I was doing.
God, divorce me from worry, selfishness, and self-absorption. Help me to be in the moment!
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