January 14, 2013
Sally from Witchita, Kansas writes in:
I have been a grateful recovering alcoholic for for 16 years now. I love sobriety so much more than than the chaos of living in active addiction. I have been a falling down drunk, a teetotaler, and an upstanding sober woman.
By far, I love being an upstanding sober woman.
In fact, now that I am sober I am a better mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend, or so I thought! Speaking of friends, I have generally been lucky in developing great friendships with my sobriety sisters.
However, recently I experienced some tension with another friend who preferred that I not remain friends with a former mutual friend of both of ours.
I understand my friend's point of view, as our former friend had an affair with her husband. I definitely do not condone our friend's behavior, but as I explained to my friend, I have known our friend for a long time and she has been nothing but a supportive friend to me despite the affair.
Besides, I am not interested in being judgmental of our friend.
And, now that I think of it, she did not leave her husband, despite the fact that he was equally as accountable.
I look at it this way, our friend definitely had an affair with my friend's husband and that is wrong, but aside from acknowledging that, it is really none of my business.
My part is that maybe I should have taken a more empathetic, compassionate stance.
Also, considering the fact that I do not agree with adultery, perhaps it was tantamount to hypocrisy to remain friends with someone who cheated with a married man.
I suppose that if I shift my perception, and unlike what I mentioned above, it is my business. And, aside from my allegiance from my friend, I do not agree with what my other friend's behavior.
God, give me the strength to disregard my fear of standing up for what is right in my eyes, not to mention walk away from what is wrong, and help me to be as graceful as possible.
Guide me to be more compassionate and empathetic when appropriate. Amen.
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