It is the title of one of my favorite songs, by Josh Groban. If you have not heard it, please listen to it. That one song got me through much of the early days of sobriety.
This time of year, those four words are particularly pertinent for the Alcoholic or Addict.
I can recall a number of years, particularly during my active addiction, in which I felt completely alone, especially around this time of year.
All the holiday displays, with Christmas decorations haunted me.
And, I saw other people with family members, and still others wrapped in the arms of significant others, holding hands, stealing kisses under mistletoes, smiling, seemingly happy……they would send me into tears!
It all reminded of what I did not have, and at that time what I thought I desperately wanted.
When I would hear the New Year’s song Aud Lange Syne, if I did not turn it off in time, particularly when the ball would drop, and I was alone, once again because of my inability to get along with people, I would just ball up in fetal position and shed enough tears to fill an ocean….I felt like the loneliest boy in the world!!
The reality is I was never alone, whether it was my Higher Power that was with me at the lowest point of my addiction, or before it got that bad when there were plenty of people who loved me despite my character defects, and wanted me around, notwithstanding what my distorted perception was telling me.
In retrospect, as I face similar situations with people, places and things, it is my change in perception/shift in perspective this time around that allows me to behave in a different way.
Yes, my behavior still leaves me a heavy heart, but not so much these days, despite the learning curve. Practice makes perfection guys!!
Apparently, the lesson(s) must be learned.
With that said, sometimes it is one step forward, and two steps back, but we eventually get it, so please don’t ever give up on life or your sobriety.
You don’t have to hide the hurt anymore. Come into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, as you are, and let us love you until you can love yourself. That’s what you did for me. I am, as well as many others are, prepared to do it for you.
If you are a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous or any other twelve step program, know that you never have to be alone this holiday season.
There are marathon meetings and there are fellows in our wonderful twelve step programs that want you at their dinner tables, or beside them at a holiday function.
If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction, please call or text us. We want to help you.
Photo Courtesy: beyondhollywood.com