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What it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now

on Monday, 10 December 2012. Posted in Voices in Recovery, Breaking News


By Alexandra Rose

Sometimes us alcoholics can forget how bad it was when we were using drugs and drinking alcohol. This can play tricks on our minds and let us think that maybe it wasn’t that bad.

In the worse-case scenario, we could think that we could handle using one more time. I’ve heard a lot of people share after relapses that they were questioning whether they were alcoholics or not. Usually their answer leads them back into the rooms of A.A. Although I just celebrated four years of sobriety, I still can remember the horrible day of the last time I used.

Recently I spoke at the rehab that I went through. I spoke for forty minutes.

On the way there, all the memories of when I first entered the rehab started to flood in regarding those early days of sobriety. I was a scared and shy nineteen-year-old girl flying 3,000 miles away from home to save my life. I didn’t know what to expect but I knew that I was going to gain a new lease on life.

Although getting sober is a hard task at first, it isn’t nearly as hard as keeping up with our lives when we are using. It’s amazing how different I am today, four years later.

Today, I am a sober twenty-three year old woman who looks forward to her future.

Due to the fact that it was a forty-minute share, I had some time to talk about what it was like. Again, memories started to flood in about that time period of my life. I couldn’t imagine living that life now or behaving the way I did.

What I lived for was drugs and that was it. I didn’t care who I hurt, what situations I put myself in, or what I was doing to myself.

Now, I live a completely different life that I couldn’t have ever imagined when I was using and drinking. What matters most today is my sobriety. I do everything to work towards keeping my sobriety one day at a time. I care for the people around me and most importantly I care for myself.

I remember how miserable it was when I was using and drinking. It drained the life out of me.

I’ve had some hard times in sobriety but nothing was as bad as before I got sober. What I am able to do today is stay sober and be of service. When I think about before sobriety and when I got sober I am so grateful for my life.

The change in me is remarkable and it is all due to this program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction or alcoholism, please call or text us. We want to help you.

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