There is nothing else quite like feeling the rapture of pain and all its accompanying awfulness to wake one up from the abyss of ignorance.
At that point you are perfectly primed in a position of sheer motivation to determine the cause of the pain.
The recognition of the labyrinth of discordance elicits eagerness and effort that we did not otherwise realize that we had, and it propels us to take the necessary action to put an end to pain….. even it includes praying and asking the God of our own understanding for help.
Suddenly, that is when it happens………that is when the solution comes and the subsequent, sometimes even simultaneous, joy that accompanies the solution.
I recently experienced this revelation. I refer to it as a revelation because of the solution was so simple and so obvious it was profound. It was there within me all along.
To clarify, the pain that I am referring to is psychic pain; that mental pain that makes you want to get in bed because you are so drained of energy, frustrated and sort of confused, but not enough to sleep.
Instead, if you are similar to the alcoholic or addict that I am, you generally crawl into a fetal position and ruminate about the interaction or exchange that brought you here, to this place of pain.
You run the incident, i.e., the resentment, through your mind over and over like a ticker-tape as you try to pinpoint exactly what caused this pain to surface and stalk you like a shadow in the night.
Before my intervention and trip to rehab, and long before becoming a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, the psychic pain would be so intense, so uncomfortable that I would use any type of prescription pill in my possession to obtain relief...... I had a medley of them available - Xanax, Remeron, Ambien, Valium, Klonopin, Ativan, Adderall, Ritalin and so forth. When it was so bad, I chased whatever I consumed down with a glass or two of wine.
That is no longer an option.
My solution is, as mentioned above, is utilizing the steps to illuminate an incident, recognize my part, take my power back, forgive, and then when a similar situation arrives, be present enough to refrain from repeating the behavior that brought me so much pain before.
I suppose that is the point in which the pain transitions into joy.
The painful situation is no longer reason for regret if you can pause long enough to recognize your part, realize that you are no longer a victim, and as a result, have faith that you never have to experience that pain again or allow someone to trigger you that way again.
Sobriety provides the opportunity for presence, and presence allows you to stop repeating history.
Suddenly you are standing in your power and your beauty, defining your destiny, and choosing your fate, with grace.
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