Recently I read something from my life coach……..something regarding “letting go.” Besides being particularly pertinent because of the time of year, “letting go” really resonated with me because I initially sought Mark’s help to “let go” of something that, today, I have truly and finally let go of.
To make a long story short, I initially sought the services of my life coach to help me to move on from my ex, an alcoholic that although I was in love with was completely dragging me down.
Looking back now, I realize that I never hurt so bad in my entire life the way that I hurt when I was with him. Yet, like a magnet to metal or crack to an addict, I was drawn to him.
I knew I had to leave him, so I did, with help of the fellows in Alcoholics Anonymous who talked me through it.
Meanwhile, after all was said and done, it seemed as if I was not, as I kept thinking of him, everything reminded me of him, and especially at night, I felt lonely without him. Familiar? Well, I sought out Mark to help me to move forward without my ex, to maintain boundaries and to not go back.
I am proud to say that, and as alluded to above, finally, after a year and half subsequent to leaving him, I am finally over it. I have dealt with why the relationship was not suitable for me and I know more of what I want and do not want in an intimate relationship.
This time last year I was still reeling from that break-up. I was in so much pain; pain similar to the withdrawal I suffered after I quit consuming prescription pills. Every other minute I want to go back and five it another shot, as if it would be any different.
I finally resolved that 2012 would be different, that I would not take the drama of my ex into the year of 2012, as I had done the two previous years.
With the intent to move on, I applied the same consistency that has helped me acquire three years and six months of sobriety. I was determined not to relapse with my ex just as I was determined not to relapse with prescription pills and alcohol.
The point is that I have no intention of taking that drama into the New Year. In 2013 I want nothing in my life that does not serve my sobriety and my recovery.
On the chance that I let go of something that should remain, I truly believe that if it is meant to be in my life it will return, just as the Chinese proverb says.
For me, “letting go” looks like idioms: “going with the flow” or even “rolling with the punches.”
And although letting go means giving up control, ironically, it affords so much independence and freedom to just be present for what is right for us and not have to be so responsible for orchestrating everything; for controlling everything, or “moving the universe to hang onto something that no longer fits us.”
For instance, I have a habit of wanting to save any friend or family member that is somehow suffering, even if they caused it, willfully or recklessly, and if helping them would even be at my expense. Like a nurturing super hero, I want to swoop in and control everything, tell them what to do, put them back together, figure out the solution and so forth, that I burn myself and I cannot even take care of myself. I am trying not to do that anymore.
In fact, these days I am learning to mind my own business and to just be a good listener.
As I have been letting go, low and behold, I have more time for myself and I accomplish more things, and I am more present than I have ever been in my life.
What are you holding on to that you should be letting go of? As this is the last Friday of the year of 2012, take a moment and ponder!
Photo Courtesy of: jhoveloling