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Ending The Cycle Of Addiction Is Not Always Easy, But It Is Worth It

Written by DeShawn McQueen on Wednesday, 10 October 2012. Posted in Voices in Recovery, Breaking News

Ending the Cycle of Addiction

For most of you, the decision to quit alcohol or drugs is quite simple.

More likely than not, you have reached a realization that drugs or alcohol no longer provide respite from the pain.

Others recognize the connection between the problems in their life and alcohol or drugs. They reason that if they want the problems to end, they must stop using the substance, whatever it is.

With that said, the decision to quit does not often line up with the “follow through” necessary to quit.

It seems as if a myriad of aspects get in the way of the motivation. Those aspects often include, excruciating withdrawal symptoms, phantom pains, lack of insurance to cover rehab costs, lack of a support group to those who relate, and even mental health problems, among others.

More recently, I watched a documentary about a young heroin addict from Wisconsin. She moved to Denver, Colorado to quit heroin, only to find that she had developed an even worse drug habit!

No matter how hard she tried she just could not stop.

Watching her on the “rat wheel” of addiction helped me to recall what I once knew so well.

I myself have conquered my addiction demons, only because of the relationships I have with my Higher Power, my sponsor and sponsees. As a result, I forget what it was like or could have been like.

I digress.

Her name is Angel, and she is 23 years old. Angel is homeless and pregnant, with a drug-addict fiancé who was extradited to Wisconsin to face drug-related charges that ended in conviction.

To make a long story short, the fiancé is in prison for the next eight years.

Once upon a time, Angel and her fiancé had a home, a condo to be exact, and both them had jobs, not to mention drug habits.

Meanwhile, they both did heroin, even while Angel was pregnant with their first child, a girl, who has been in the foster care system for a while now.

The baby was born with a syndrome called dwarfism, no doubt due to the fact that Angel ingested heroin throughout her pregnancy.

Apparently Angel knew that complications could result, but she just could not stop her habit.

Eventually, Angel and her fiancé lost their condo due to the fact that they lost their jobs, both due to their heroin habit.

Fast forward to now, with Angel living on the street, pan handling, sleeping in garbage dumpsters and under expressway overpasses.

Angel ingests brown tar heroin every day, just so that she will not get sick. Her greatest fear is not to die, but to suffer from heroin withdrawal.

In the documentary, Angel says, “I want to get clean, but I am afraid of the withdrawal symptoms”.

If this is your reality, I have been there. More than three years ago, I felt exactly the same way, and if it were not for an act of divine providence I would still be using fear of withdrawal as an excuse to use.

Instead, I cried out four words, “God help me please”. I really had no idea what I was saying or doing, but I was desperate.

What happened next led to where I am today, more than three years clean and sober, happy, healthy, employed, and taking steps to accomplish my goals and dreams.

The work necessary to stop using prescription pills and alcohol was not always easy, but it was certainly worth it.

If you or someone that you love is struggling with drug addiction or alcoholism, please call or text us now. We can help you.

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About the Author

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen

DeShawn McQueen is a staff writer at Recovery Now Newspaper and, an informative newspaper that serves as a resource for persons of all stages of drug and alcohol treatment, by giving them access to relevant and necessary information so that they may live balanced and substance-free lifestyles. DeShawn graduated from Wayne State University with Bachelor of Science degrees in psychology and premedical sciences. He holds a Juris Doctors degree in law from Valparaiso University School of Law. DeShawn’s writing and research has been published in such academic journals as Behavioral Pharmacology and Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior among others. He lives in Los Angeles, California.

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